Science of Parenthood part 3: Parental QED

QED is a mystifying subject, parental QED doubly so. In traditional QED, particles act in strange and spooky ways. In P-QED individual particles (see: children) behave in similarly strange ways. The best known example of this is probably Schroedinger's Cute, which is a paradoxical superstate of a particle being both cute and grumpy simultaneously, and when the particle is observed with a digital camera, their superposition wave form collapses and the recorded observation shows exactly one of the two states of cute or grumpy. It is thought to be impossible to predict which precise photograph will show the cute state and which will show the grumpy state, but exhaustive studies have determined that these results adhere to probabilistic functions.

A phenomenon that isn't as well known to a lay audience as Schroedinger's Cute, is Sibling Entanglement, but the strange action of this P-QED oddity is spread across multiple particles. The basics of the principle are as follows: particles are said to be 'entangled' by having been derived from the same antecedent particles. Such entangled particles share conserved values of particle properties. For example, given two entangled particles who share the common value of a property X, in this instance let X be the urgency for urination during a road trip, than if one particle has a value of X of .99, the corresponding entangled particle will have a value of .01. If one has a value of .6, than the other will have the corollary value of .4, and so on. This principle of entanglement can also be demonstrated by collapsing wave forms with observations by using a digital camera. If one entangled particle has a value of .8 for their smiling property, then the other particle must necessarily have a value of .2. Scientists have tried for years to get both of their particles to smile at the same time, but this frustrating fundamental principle seems to be just one of the unusual ways that this universe works.